Party

It was an average Friday night, or Saturday,
I am not too precise on the actual day.
I just know it was one of those endless
College nights with the core group of us,
And someone brought him along.
We sat around doing what we do,
Talking about life and "solving the worlds problems"
And pairing off, and leaving and coming back.
It was no big deal, the lights were bright,
They shone down on us, and we lived.
We lived the self-absorbed life of a student.
After all, we were in college, and weren't we
The brightest of the bright? The best of the best?
We could hold our own in esoteric conversation,
And come up with solutions that by God,
If anyone would just LISTEN would fix the world.
It was a comfortable tension in the group,
We spent our nights doing this. Talking.
Whether drinking at Dan's or out at the
Twenty-four hour coffee shop, jazzed up.
On this night, someone had brought Jake.
And Jake was darkly handsome, and tense.
He could hold his own, he was a breed apart though.
Not a college student, he was a truck driver,
And a few years older, but he took us seriously.
At least it seemed that way to me.
In amongst the pairing off, and leaving,
And comings and goings, Jake took the time
To take me seriously, and talk to me.
And maybe that was my first mistake,
To even allow myself to be flattered by his attention.
But, no, he said all the right things,
How mature I was compared to the others.
That I really had extraordinary insight to the world.
And its problems, and couldn't we change it,
We could be a force, by God, together.
The apartment emptied out, others left,
Trickled away, and it was still me and Jake, talking.
I remember locking the door, a silent invitation.
Would you like to stay over?
In the kitchen, I cleaned up the cups and debris,
And he was behind me.
Whispering things, leaning back into him,
I stopped to listen, and did not like what I heard.
His hot breath on my neck whispered nothing loving.
I was being branded slut, and whore, and stupid.
This was NOT what I signed up for,
I tried to turn, still not understanding.
Thinking I could evict him and no harm, no foul.
My brilliance was being broken down in to parts,
And laughed at, which really hurt the most.
Little girl, playing grown up games he said.
Stark realization that under the lights,
There was a blade held to my throat.
His whisper to me that this won't hurt you a bit.
Silence for a moment, then the low laughter.
More importantly, yes, most important,
This won't hurt ME a bit.